How Texting Can Affect Your Divorce Case

Jordan Meggs • Jul 13, 2023

What you text your spouse can potentially be held against you in court. Here's how:

Unhappy divorced couple texting each other at dining table

Texting has become the go-to form of communication for most people these days. In fact, according to some recent reports, the average person sends at least three text messages per hour. Of course, that number is much higher for many people. On top of that, studies indicate that people now send and receive more than 80 private messages per day via social media and other online messaging portals. 



We often take for granted that all the messages we send and receive are private. Unfortunately, as many people can attest, they sometimes end up not being as confidential as we hope. That can certainly become a problem during a divorce. What you say in texts and other messages may be held against you and ultimately work out in your spouse’s favor. 


Do Texts and Messages Hold Up in Court?


In short, the answer here is yes. Texts and messages can hold up in court. They’re essentially considered recorded messages, and they’re increasingly being used as evidence in all types of cases. 


Certain laws apply when it comes to recording phone conversations and other verbal communications without the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. They’re designed to protect participants in conversations and ensure as much privacy as possible. Those regulations don’t exactly apply to texts, though. 


When sending messages electronically, whether, via email, phone, Facebook, or other platforms, it’s generally understood that those conversations are recorded. As such, they can serve as written records of things spouses say to one another and to other people. Some of those conversations can have major impacts on divorce cases.


How Are Texts and Messages Used in Divorce Cases?


Texts and other messages can be used in divorce cases in several ways. That’s the case whether the conversations in question take place between divorcing spouses or between one member of the couple and another party. People can volunteer to share conversations that are relevant to a divorce, or attorneys can subpoena them. If the latter occurs, refusing isn’t advised.


Property and Asset Division


One way messages may be used in divorce cases is for property and asset division. Messages between a spouse and another party that mentions hiding bank accounts or properties can be used to ensure assets are properly divided, and nothing is left out of the mix. At the same time, private messages can help to prove inappropriate spending or gift-giving is taking place. 


Proof of an Affair


Messages can likewise be used to prove infidelity. Those between the cheating spouse and his or her romantic interest can be particularly condemning in court. Additionally, if that spouse messages friends, relatives, coworkers, or other acquaintances about the affair, those conversations can be admitted as evidence. 


This factor isn’t quite as essential in states that allow no-fault divorces. Regardless, messages indicating infidelity can still affect asset division, child custody, and visitation. They can also come into play when determining spousal support and other matters.


Child Custody and Visitation


Texts and other private messages can be instrumental where child custody and visitation are concerned as well. They can determine a parent’s involvement in children’s lives or a lack thereof. They can also be used to prove or disprove hostility, abuse, and other problems. 


Multiple factors are considered when ironing out the details of child custody in a divorce and which visitation rights should be granted. Private messages can provide insight into any of them as long as they’re relevant. Depending on the messages that come to light, they may even prevent a parent from gaining custody or revoke visitation rights altogether. 


Proving (or Disproving) Abuse


Furthermore, texts can serve as proof that a spouse is verbally or physically abusive. If one spouse sends threatening messages to the other, they’re certainly admissible in court. If he or she mentions such mistreatment to someone else in text messages, that could be used as well. 


Keep in mind this can also work in quite the opposite way. For example, imagine a friend or relative encourages you to accuse your spouse of abuse via private messages. In turn, you do so even though no actual abuse took place during the marriage. Those messages could then be submitted to prove the allegations were false. 


Beyond the Legal Perspective


Those are some of the ways texts and private messages can be helpful or harmful in a divorce case. Still, the implications go well beyond the legal perspective. Sending hateful, angry, threatening messages to each other can lead to unnecessary arguments and greatly reduce the chances of amicably resolving conflicts. 


On another note, sending derogatory messages about a spouse to other people can be just as detrimental. Countless people have said things to others in confidence only to have their trust broken. Remember, here in the digital age; nothing is truly private. Rumors can be harmful, but actually having written proof in the form of texts or private messages takes matters to an entirely new level. 


Neutral Communication Is Crucial


Communication is crucial in every aspect of life, and divorce is no different. That being said, certain measures should be taken when conversing with a spouse through texts and private messages. Most importantly, never send messages in the heat of the moment. Take a few minutes, or even a few hours, to calm down before sending messages or responding to them. 


Be sure to think carefully about what you say in messages as well. Don’t send intimidating or derogatory comments. Avoid threatening or agreeing to lie about income, property, abuse, and other issues. On top of all that, never send texts or private messages about your spouse or the divorce to third parties. 


Private Messages in Divorce Cases


At least 90 percent of people text and use messaging portals at this point. Though those types of communication are meant to be private, they don’t always remain off the record. Texts and private messages do hold up in court, and they can be used to influence divorce cases. If you’re facing a divorce, consider turning to a divorce attorney in Cullman for help. 


Texts and private messages can affect asset division, child custody and visitation, spousal support, and many other elements of a divorce. Be sure to avoid sending emotionally charged messages to your spouse during a divorce, and avoid messaging other people about the situation. Just remember that here in the digital age, nothing is completely private, and nothing ever truly disappears.


By Nik Fondren 09 May, 2024
Staying Secure: Navigating Privacy and Reputation Management During Divorce
By Nik Fondren 09 May, 2024
Exploring Paths to Parenthood: A Guide to the Various Adoption Processes
By Nik Fondren 08 May, 2024
Maximizing Impact: Strategies for Integrating Philanthropy into Your Estate Plans
By Nik Fondren 10 Apr, 2024
Methods to Prepare for Life's Biggest Decisions
By Nik Fondren 10 Apr, 2024
Protecting Your Assets and Your Loved Ones
By Nik Fondren 10 Apr, 2024
Nobody wants to be stopped by the police, even when they have done nothing wrong. If you are in this situation, knowing what to do can help reduce the stress associated with this encounter. Stay calm and never act hostile toward the officers. Know your rights and what to do so the situation doesn’t escalate. Know Your Rights Most people know they have the right to remain silent during an encounter with law enforcement. You may be required to provide your name, depending on state laws where the encounter occurs, but that is it. Firmly state you wish to remain silent and stop speaking. They cannot compel you to do so once you make this statement. Furthermore, if police stop you while driving, the right to remain silent applies to any passengers in the vehicle. Passengers might also ask if they can leave during this traffic stop. If officers say they may, they should do so quietly. The Fourth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution prohibits unreasonable searches and seizures. Law enforcement officers cannot search your person, home, or car without your permission unless they have a warrant. Have them produce this warrant so you can review it. However, officers may pat you down to check for weapons. They are permitted to do so for their safety. If the officers ask to search, say that you do not consent. They may conduct this search anyway, depending on the circumstances of the encounter. This verbal statement that you do not consent to the search may become important if authorities file charges against you. When officers enter the home, they may not search without your permission or a search warrant. If they arrest you at home or work, they have the right to search the immediate area or anywhere they can see criminal activity. Pay attention to what they do throughout this search to confirm they conduct it properly and don’t overstep their bounds. Every person has a right to a criminal defense attorney in Cullman, AL . Request a government-appointed attorney if you cannot afford to hire a lawyer. Let the officers know you would like to make a phone call. They cannot listen to any calls between you and an attorney, but they have the right to listen to all other calls you make. The officers can tell you how to request a government-appointed attorney if one is needed. Handling Police Encounters Safely During any encounter with the police, stay calm. Never volunteer information, even if it seems harmless. Use your right to remain silent or only answer direct questions, never offering additional information when doing so. Never argue with officers or bad-mouth them, as doing so could change the whole tone of the interaction. If officers attempt to pull you over while you are driving, continue operating the vehicle until you reach a place where it is safe to stop. Never stop in the middle of the road or impede traffic, as doing so puts you and the officer at risk of harm. When the vehicle is stopped, remain in the car, turn on the interior light, and put your hands where the officer may see them. Ask passengers in the vehicle to show their hands as well. Provide any documents requested by the officer during this traffic stop. They may ask to see your driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance. Before collecting these documents, let the officer know where they are located. Reaching into a glove box or under the seat may appear to be a threatening move to the officer. Letting them know that is where the documents are and that you aren’t reaching for a weapon can help to reduce tension. Never run from a police officer. Also, do not touch the officers, as any touch could be construed as threatening in a volatile situation. If officers arrest you, go willingly. Don’t resist or become combative. Doing so could make a bad situation worse. Common Misconceptions People often believe they must consent to a search or take a breathalyzer test. They feel they are required to answer questions when asked by law enforcement. A person doesn’t have to say or do anything when stopped by the police. Failing to answer questions or consent to a search may result in a trip to the police station. Let this happen and contact an attorney with your one phone call. While the trip to the station is an inconvenience, it will probably be a short-lived one once your attorney arrives. They will work to get the matter resolved and have you released quickly. Protecting the Rights of Others You may find yourself in a situation where law enforcement is handling a matter involving another individual and you are merely a bystander. Help each other out by observing this interaction and recording it if possible. Try to capture officers’ badges and patrol car numbers with the video to show who was involved beyond what can be seen in the video. Also, ask witnesses to state their names and contact information on the video. They may need to share what they saw with authorities. If the situation is mishandled in any way, contact the internal affairs department of the law enforcement agency, so they may handle the matter. In addition, share the video with the attorneys of all parties involved in the interaction if problems arise. When law enforcement officers know they will be held accountable for their actions, fewer problems typically arise during a stop or other interaction. Law enforcement officers cannot stop bystanders from recording their interactions with individuals. However, the person taking the video must not interfere with police activity in any way. If you wish to record an interaction, do so from a safe distance. Don’t hide the fact you are recording, as police officers know they do not have any expectations of privacy while on the job. However, you may need to ask those interacting with the officers if they wish to be recorded. State laws vary on whether permission is needed so it is always better to ask. A person may come into contact with law enforcement multiple times throughout their life. All parties are responsible for what happens in each interaction. Know your rights and how to handle these interactions safely and legally. Everyone must work together to keep our country safe while ensuring our rights remain protected. This is not a job for one person alone.
By Nik Fondren 07 Feb, 2024
Selecting the Right Executor: Essential Tips for Your Will
By Nik Fondren 07 Feb, 2024
Ensure your Journey Through Divorce is as Smooth as Possible
By Nik Fondren 07 Feb, 2024
Steps to Take to Ensure your Family's Security
By Nik Fondren 07 Feb, 2024
Finding the Right Path to Take When Your Marriage Comes to a Close
More Posts
Share by: