How to Co-Parent Over the Summer

Jordan Meggs • Aug 03, 2022

When co-parents follow these tips and put in a little effort, they can provide conflict-free, fun summers for their children.

Kids playing on the beach in the summer

Summertime is an exciting time for children—school is out, and the potential for fun is endless. For divorced parents, however, these ‘vacations’ can be much less enjoyable. When parents separate, it forces them to change their routines and re-evaluate their priorities, which can make co-parenting a challenge. Here, our firm will offer some tips on planning ahead and making every summer transition a smooth one.


Plan for Co-Parenting


One of the most important things to keep in mind is that co-parenting plans change often. Children get older, their interests change, and parents’ situations must be re-evaluated periodically. Kids thrive on structure and routine, and parents can give them what they need by planning summertime schedules in advance. If you’re unsure of how to create a co-parenting plan, a divorce attorney in Cullman may be able to help. Call today to schedule a consultation.


Get It In Writing


No matter the contents of a co-parenting plan, it’s essential to get them in writing. Summer days can be unpredictable, and plans may change in an instant. When they’re put on paper, however, it prevents conflict and gives both sides something to refer to when things get hectic.


Keep the Kids in the Loop


While parents, of course, have the final say, they shouldn’t plan the holidays without consulting their kids. Ask them how they’d like to spend their days and what they want to do most. Parents’ and kids’ desires often differ, and difficult choices must be made. By allowing your kids to express their wants and needs, you show them that you’re validating their feelings and trusting them to make good choices. This simple step will do much to restore a parent/child relationship that’s been damaged by divorce.


Set a Realistic Budget and Share the Costs of Summer Fun


Summer vacation isn’t cheap; the cost of vacations, outings, sleepaway camps, and trips can add up quickly. That’s why it’s so crucial for co-parents to be on the same page as far as spending is concerned. It’s quite normal for co-parents to share costs, and there’s no reason to feel shy about discussing money. It’s both parents’ job to give their children the best experiences possible, and cost-sharing will help do just that. 


Don’t Turn It Into a Competition


In life, things aren’t always fair or equal, and it’s not unusual for one parent’s income to be much higher than the other’s. While these disparities are common, they shouldn’t create feelings of competition and resentment. It’s counterproductive, and it will likely damage the co-parenting relationship and make the kids feel guilty. It’s not money that gets a child’s attention; it’s the love, trust, support, and attention parents give.


Keep Seasonal Work in Mind


Divorces often leave parents strapped for cash, which leads many to pick up seasonal jobs in the summertime. Work can have substantial effects on summer custody schedules, as an employed parent may not always be available during scheduled hours. In these cases, co-parents should adjust visitation, agree to swap times, or look for childcare assistance. 


Summertime work isn’t just for parents anymore. Older kids sometimes take summer jobs, which makes it even more challenging to maintain a co-parenting routine. When jobs and volunteer opportunities are accepted, parents should keep them in mind and maintain a bit of flexibility in scheduling.


Give Some Grace and Go With the Flow


Summertime brings changes in routine, which can be particularly stressful for young children. If a child typically spends most of their time with the other parent, feelings of sadness and homesickness may come. It’s normal, and it doesn’t mean they love you any less—they just miss what’s familiar and comfortable. Don’t take it personally; instead, give them grace and understanding.


Much of the frustration and sadness of custody exchanges can be prevented with some preparation and planning. Let the child know that they’ll be spending time away from their other parent, but they’ll see them again soon. Ask them to keep in mind that they’ll be with you and that you love them as much as ever. Both parents should take this step, as it will reassure an anxious child and eliminate some of the sadness they may be feeling.


Set and Maintain Boundaries


While many divorces and co-parenting situations are handled amicably, problems sometimes arise. High-conflict ex-spouses like to test boundaries, especially when the kids are out of school and they feel as if they have more access. Prevent a controlling ex from creating drama and micromanaging your life by setting and maintaining boundaries. Don’t give in, and don’t get into an argument. Instead, politely thank them for their input and suggest continuing the conversation another time.


Dealing With an Uncooperative Ex-Spouse


Even when parents work toward planning a fun, stress-free summer for their children, disputes can arise over vacation plans, expenses, and visitation time. Divorce and co-parenting aren’t easy, and requests often seem unreasonable. If a former spouse refuses to cooperate or act respectfully, follow these tips.


  • Don’t try to control everything; focus on what really matters.
  • Don’t use aggressive or demeaning language, as it will only fuel the fire. Stay calm and communicate in productive, respectful ways, especially when the kids are around.
  • Try not to engage with the other parent, and consider limiting communication to text messages and emails, which can be documented. Ask a friend or relative to help with custody exchanges, as it will reduce the risk of an escalated situation.


If none of these strategies work and the other parent still won’t cooperate, there is help available. A local divorce attorney will protect your rights and ensure that the other parent fulfills their responsibilities.


Summertime Co-Parenting Isn’t Easy, But It’s Possible


Summer is when childhood memories are made, and it’s up to you to help them make those memories the best they can be. When co-parents follow these tips and put in a little effort, they can provide conflict-free, fun summers for their children. For help with custody and co-parenting, call our office to schedule a consultation.


By Nik Fondren 09 May, 2024
Staying Secure: Navigating Privacy and Reputation Management During Divorce
By Nik Fondren 09 May, 2024
Exploring Paths to Parenthood: A Guide to the Various Adoption Processes
By Nik Fondren 08 May, 2024
Maximizing Impact: Strategies for Integrating Philanthropy into Your Estate Plans
By Nik Fondren 10 Apr, 2024
Methods to Prepare for Life's Biggest Decisions
By Nik Fondren 10 Apr, 2024
Protecting Your Assets and Your Loved Ones
By Nik Fondren 10 Apr, 2024
Nobody wants to be stopped by the police, even when they have done nothing wrong. If you are in this situation, knowing what to do can help reduce the stress associated with this encounter. Stay calm and never act hostile toward the officers. Know your rights and what to do so the situation doesn’t escalate. Know Your Rights Most people know they have the right to remain silent during an encounter with law enforcement. You may be required to provide your name, depending on state laws where the encounter occurs, but that is it. Firmly state you wish to remain silent and stop speaking. They cannot compel you to do so once you make this statement. Furthermore, if police stop you while driving, the right to remain silent applies to any passengers in the vehicle. Passengers might also ask if they can leave during this traffic stop. If officers say they may, they should do so quietly. The Fourth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution prohibits unreasonable searches and seizures. Law enforcement officers cannot search your person, home, or car without your permission unless they have a warrant. Have them produce this warrant so you can review it. However, officers may pat you down to check for weapons. They are permitted to do so for their safety. If the officers ask to search, say that you do not consent. They may conduct this search anyway, depending on the circumstances of the encounter. This verbal statement that you do not consent to the search may become important if authorities file charges against you. When officers enter the home, they may not search without your permission or a search warrant. If they arrest you at home or work, they have the right to search the immediate area or anywhere they can see criminal activity. Pay attention to what they do throughout this search to confirm they conduct it properly and don’t overstep their bounds. Every person has a right to a criminal defense attorney in Cullman, AL . Request a government-appointed attorney if you cannot afford to hire a lawyer. Let the officers know you would like to make a phone call. They cannot listen to any calls between you and an attorney, but they have the right to listen to all other calls you make. The officers can tell you how to request a government-appointed attorney if one is needed. Handling Police Encounters Safely During any encounter with the police, stay calm. Never volunteer information, even if it seems harmless. Use your right to remain silent or only answer direct questions, never offering additional information when doing so. Never argue with officers or bad-mouth them, as doing so could change the whole tone of the interaction. If officers attempt to pull you over while you are driving, continue operating the vehicle until you reach a place where it is safe to stop. Never stop in the middle of the road or impede traffic, as doing so puts you and the officer at risk of harm. When the vehicle is stopped, remain in the car, turn on the interior light, and put your hands where the officer may see them. Ask passengers in the vehicle to show their hands as well. Provide any documents requested by the officer during this traffic stop. They may ask to see your driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance. Before collecting these documents, let the officer know where they are located. Reaching into a glove box or under the seat may appear to be a threatening move to the officer. Letting them know that is where the documents are and that you aren’t reaching for a weapon can help to reduce tension. Never run from a police officer. Also, do not touch the officers, as any touch could be construed as threatening in a volatile situation. If officers arrest you, go willingly. Don’t resist or become combative. Doing so could make a bad situation worse. Common Misconceptions People often believe they must consent to a search or take a breathalyzer test. They feel they are required to answer questions when asked by law enforcement. A person doesn’t have to say or do anything when stopped by the police. Failing to answer questions or consent to a search may result in a trip to the police station. Let this happen and contact an attorney with your one phone call. While the trip to the station is an inconvenience, it will probably be a short-lived one once your attorney arrives. They will work to get the matter resolved and have you released quickly. Protecting the Rights of Others You may find yourself in a situation where law enforcement is handling a matter involving another individual and you are merely a bystander. Help each other out by observing this interaction and recording it if possible. Try to capture officers’ badges and patrol car numbers with the video to show who was involved beyond what can be seen in the video. Also, ask witnesses to state their names and contact information on the video. They may need to share what they saw with authorities. If the situation is mishandled in any way, contact the internal affairs department of the law enforcement agency, so they may handle the matter. In addition, share the video with the attorneys of all parties involved in the interaction if problems arise. When law enforcement officers know they will be held accountable for their actions, fewer problems typically arise during a stop or other interaction. Law enforcement officers cannot stop bystanders from recording their interactions with individuals. However, the person taking the video must not interfere with police activity in any way. If you wish to record an interaction, do so from a safe distance. Don’t hide the fact you are recording, as police officers know they do not have any expectations of privacy while on the job. However, you may need to ask those interacting with the officers if they wish to be recorded. State laws vary on whether permission is needed so it is always better to ask. A person may come into contact with law enforcement multiple times throughout their life. All parties are responsible for what happens in each interaction. Know your rights and how to handle these interactions safely and legally. Everyone must work together to keep our country safe while ensuring our rights remain protected. This is not a job for one person alone.
By Nik Fondren 07 Feb, 2024
Selecting the Right Executor: Essential Tips for Your Will
By Nik Fondren 07 Feb, 2024
Ensure your Journey Through Divorce is as Smooth as Possible
By Nik Fondren 07 Feb, 2024
Steps to Take to Ensure your Family's Security
By Nik Fondren 07 Feb, 2024
Finding the Right Path to Take When Your Marriage Comes to a Close
More Posts
Share by: